


The Way The Jelly Crumbles

by PeanuutFlower



Series: MegaPit [9]
Category: Rockman | Mega Man Classic, Super Smash Brothers, 新・光神話 パルテナの鏡 | Kid Icarus: Uprising (Video Game)
Genre: (it sounds worse than it actually is), Attempt at Humor, Burns, Careful Children That's a lot of Headcanons, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Food, Food Poisoning, Getting Together, Humor, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Megapit - Freeform, Pit has no sense of self-preservation, Rock is prone to worry, Smash Mansion, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, Weird Chemistry, Weird Recipes, what a good combo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:40:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22777267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeanuutFlower/pseuds/PeanuutFlower
Summary: Pit just wanted one of his best friends to be able to experience all the wonders of food.Then again, he wasn't exactly known for thinking things through.
Relationships: Link (Legend of Zelda) & Pit (Kid Icarus), Palutena & Pit (Kid Icarus), Pit (Kid Icarus)/Rockman | Mega Man, Simon Belmont & Rockman | Megaman & Pit (Kid Icarus)
Series: MegaPit [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1602994
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	The Way The Jelly Crumbles

**Author's Note:**

> hi there  
> yes I'm still on my bullcrap

Pit loved food. In fact, he loved food almost as much as he loved his goddess and loved serving her, and fighting foes in her name.

And he ate a lot. He wasn't a big eater the likes of Kirby or King Dedede, but he still had an incredible appetite, and absolutely killed it at eating contests.

And he could eat as much food as he wanted when it came to living in the Mansion, thanks to Doctor Mario telling everyone Pit had to eat a lot because of his fast metabolism. Pit had no idea what metabolism really meant, but his friends had described it to him as his body loving and needing food as much as he did, and that had been enough of an explanation for the angel.

Because he really, really liked food. For himself, but also for others.

He loved to share a meal with companions, and he liked to cook things. He was far from being a master chef, and his options were limited to a small list of simple meals, but he still managed to cook up some pretty good stuff.

And right now, in the middle of the clearing of the forest bordering the Mansion, as the moon was rising up in the dark sky, he was sharing a meal with Simon and Link, the three of them sitting on logs around a campfire and roasting chunks of meat they had brought with them.

The three of them laughed and talked about their adventures, sharing their tales of the epic battles they went through, and Pit was so engrossed in one of Link's many stories from the countless lives he had lived that he startled when he felt a hand gently tap his shoulder.

He turned around. Rock was looking at him with a knowing smile, and motioned for him to follow him, back to the Mansion, but not before giving a fist bump to Simon, who affectionately ruffled the robot's hair and sent him on his way.

“Ah. It looks like it's the youngsters time to go to bed.” Simon chuckled, Link following suit.

Pit grumbled and huffed, his wings puffing out in frustration. “Ugh! It's not fair! Why do I have to put up with the kids' curfew! I'm not a baby! I should be with the teens!”

He pouted, even as he felt Link's compassionate pats on his back.

“If it's any consolation, I do believe you shouldn't be under that curfew. But your goddess has deemed it so.” Simon explained, giving him a sympathetic smile.

“I knooooow...” Pit whined, and sighed in defeat, getting up and walking away from the campfire. “Well, bye I guess. Don't waste the food!”

“Do not fret, my young friend. I am fairly sure we'll be able to finish everything by midnight.” Simon assured him. “May you have a good night.”

“Hyah!” Link said, waving at the angel.

Pit trotted all the way to the edge of the forest, where his friend was waiting for him.

The robot smiled as he finally reached him. “Took you long enough.” He teased. “A few more minutes and Master Hand would have probably sent the both of us to Final Destination.”

“Pssh. That old Hand doesn't scare me.” He claimed, making a show of his bravado. He was always trying to impress the robot whenever he could. He just couldn't help it.

But by now Rock knew his act. “If he doesn't scare you, then why don't you ask him to lift the kids' curfew for you?”

Pit's wings drooped, dejected. “I may not be scared of him... but I am scared of Lady Palutena. It was her decision, and I just can't disobey her like that! It'd be blasphemy!”

He felt Rock patting him on the back. “You poor thing.”

Pit never knew if the robot was sincere or sarcastic when he did that.

“So...” Rock continued, as he started to walk the bridge to the Mansion. “... did you have fun?”

“Uh?” Pit blinked. “Oh, yeah! Link's stories are always super cool and heroic!” He blushed a bit, and was stuck in a daze for a moment, various images of the Legendary Hero of Hyrule in action coming back to his mind, making his wings flutter. “But, I mean, Link himself is always super cool and heroic...”

Pit missed Rock's jealous frown and pout, and barely heard him muttering about being cool and heroic himself.

Instead, he just kept talking. “Oh! And the food was really good too! I don't know what it is that makes eating outside with friends feel so different, but I really like it! It's like all the food you're used to eat has a brand new taste somehow!”

Rock shook his head, a bit fondly. “You and your food, I swear.”

"Well, what can I say. Eating is nice, and doing it together is even nicer.” Pt explained, and then his eyes lit up. “Hey, maybe you could come join us next time, and see it for yourself!"

"Thanks but, I don't really want to eat."

Pit stopped in his tracks.

"What do you mean you don't want to eat?"

"I mean, I could but... that would be taking away ressources from beings that really need them to regenerate their cells and keep their organs functioning, amongst other things, as I wouldn't really have any use for the nutrients and such." The robot rambled.

"Rock..." Why did he always have to use big words.

The robot looked up at him, and blinked, before he realized what the angel wanted and mouthed a sorry, right before he repeated himself. "I would be taking food away from those who need to eat to live and grow, even though my body doesn't need any of it. And that would be bad."

"Oh." Pit said, a bit disappointed. "But I've seen you eat, well, drink, that little can thingie?"

"My E-Tanks?"

"Yeah, that. Is that the only thing you eat?" That sounded like torture to Pit!

"Pretty much yeah. And even then, I don't need them constantly. I get most of my energy from the sun."

"That sounds a bit like... photosynthesis? Like, the thing plants do to eat?" Pit asked, excited he could use one of the words he had learned from Viridi.

"'... kinda?" Rock pondered. "Uh, I never really thought of myself as a plant..."

“So... what's in those things anyway? Does it taste good?” Pit was actually curious. Was it that good that the robot didn't need anything else?

“Uh... a bunch of chemicals, kinda like what you could find in a battery... and, no, it doesn't taste like anything, I think. It's not like I've tasted a lot of things anyway, but I believe the taste could be described as 'bland'.”

What? Bland?! What kind of torture was his friend putting himself through?

“You sure? Maybe I could taste it, see if-”

“Nope!” The robot shouted, making Pit jump. “No, no, and once again, no.”

“Why not?”

Rock's mouth became a thin line, and he looked at Pit, dead serious. “I'm pretty sure it would be poison to you. Don't you ever try to drink it behind my back.”

Pit gulped, both from the stare, and the information. “Oh. Oh, I see...” He managed. “Well, why don't we talk about something else, uh?”

Their conversation deviated from that point on, and they ended up talking about various other things before they had to bid their goodbyes for the night, but, as strange as it was, Pit had trouble sleeping that night.

He kept thinking back to the fact that Rock, one of his best and closest friends, and notable crush, had never been able to experience the delight that was having a choice with and eating a variety of tasty food. It seemed inconceivable to him that someone could live this way, only being able to get their sustenance from the same old thing.

Sure, he had understood that Rock could only drink E-Tanks to replenish his energy when the light of the sun wasn't enough, but maybe he didn't have to be stuck with it under one specific form?

After all, you could make flan out of milk, and jelly out of juice, so who was to say the liquid stuff in the robot's blue cans was any different?

  
  


That's when he got a brilliant idea.

* * *

The next morning, while every one was out and about around the Mansion and on the stages, practicing for the upcoming tournaments, Pit offered himself a break and stayed inside.

He waited until most of the fighters were out to put his plan into action.

Once he was sure he wouldn't get caught, he sneaked about in the corridors and up the stairs, until he reached the door to Rock's room.

Using the access code logged into his card, he easily opened the door and made his way in, careful not to make anything fall over or leave any trace of suspicious activity with each and every step he took.

“Now, Rock, where do you keep your stash?” He thought aloud, looking around the room.

He made his way to the robot's bed, that was mostly unused, and looked beneath.

“Nothing here... in the closet, maybe?”

He carefully opened the doors. There were several clothes neatly arranged, and boxes, some half-opened and with various trinkets the robot got from friends and family alike.

Pit smiled when he realized Rock had a special box, a bit bigger than the others, dedicated to all the little gifts Pit had given his friend over time. There was even a little heart next to the three symbols Pit now knew spelled out his name.

“Aw, Rock...” He cooed, feeling touched by the display, his wings fluttering from the happiness he felt. He knew the robot meant it as a strictly platonic thing, but one could still dream.

But he couldn't get distracted for long. After all, he was here on a mission.

Pit closed the doors of the closet and opened the drawers of one of the shelves. And, lo and behold, there was just what he had been looking for.

“Ha-ha! Success! Pit, you're the greatest.”

He took three of the E-Tanks, and rearranged the rest of them to make it seem like none were missing, put the drawers back the way they were, and darted out of there once he had made sure to lock Rock's room on his way out.

* * *

Pit sneaked into the kitchen after he had made sure no one was there, and raided the cupboards. He took some sugar, eggs and vanilla, as well as some gelatin leaves for his second recipe.

He turned on one of the many ovens, and as he waited for it to reach the right temperature, he put the eggs into a dish and tossed them up with it, repeatedly, watching them crash down into it, in a mess of yolk and shells. Two of the eggs fell down on the floor, and Pit decided he woud take care of the mess once he was done with everything else, using two new eggs to compensate for the loss. He carefully picked out the cracked shells in the dish, leaving only the yolk.

He poured the contents into a large bowl, took a spoon and started stirring the yolk. After opening one of the cans he had taken from Rock, and sniffing it, finding it really didn't smell like anything in particular, he gradually added in the contents of some of the E-Tanks, then the vanilla, and the sugar.

Once he was all done, he looked at the mixture. It smelled a bit funny, and the color was a bit greenish, but Pit shrugged it off and placed the flans into the preheated oven.

Satisfied, he took a pot out of the cupboards and moved on to his next dish.

He put the gelatin leaves into the pot and poured the rest of the E-Tanks in, until it was almost full.

He started stirring the mixture, slowly adding in sugar. He resisted the urge to taste it, remembering his friend's words.

Once he was satisfied with the texture, he turned up the stove on the highest setting and stirred again. For the first few dozens seconds, everything looked normal. But then, a weird vinegar-like smell came out from the pot, and the mixture started bubbling and foaming. And the foam went up, up... and it kept going up, like a blue balloon growing bigger, about to pop.

Pit recoiled, hands on his face, ready for the hot susbtance to burn him, except the huge bubble of foam didn't pop. Instead, it detached itself from the pot, and flew away, like a hot air balloon.

The angel watched it float away, a bit dumbfounded, and shrugged, going back to his stirring, turning the stove off. After a while he noticed the mixture had become more consistent, and, satisfied with the result, he stopped.

He poured the contents into a glass jar, careful not to burn himself, and sighed. He was almost done.

He turned around and yelped as something caught into his wings. It felt sticky, like glue, and indeed it glued his wings with one another, as well as with his hair. He managed to turn his head enough so that he saw that the foam balloon had been the one to come crashing down onto him.

Annoyed, he tried to take it off, but only hurt himself in the process, ripping off some of his feathers.

“Ow, ow, ow! Okay, not good, not doing that again!”

Pit desperately tried to gently remove a good portion of the sticky blue goo, starting to feel like his fingers were itching, especially under his nails. He had to stop when he heard the oven make an ominous beeping sound. He ran to it, and panicked as he saw smoke, opening the oven door just as the fire alarm was triggered.

In retrospect, he probably shouldn't have done that, as some of the flans had caught on fire and parts of the mixture exploded once the colder air hit the inside of the oven, lots of tiny, squishy and really, really hot bits of flan being flung in all directions, with some landing right onto Pit's face and chest.

The angel cried out in pain and surprise, and fell down on his back. Luckily, this allowed him to avoid a nasty and hot cloud of smoke with a really acidic smell coming out of the oven.

The fire alarm kept beeping, and Pit shrieked as cold, heavy sprinkled water came crashing down onto him, making the goo on his back bubble and sizzle as the emergency system had finally been put into play.

Shielding his eyes from the water, and feeling it stinging at his fresh burns, he barely registered the hurried and metallic-sounding footsteps coming his way.

“Pit! Pit, oh my gosh! Are you alright?!”

He nodded, even though he wasn't exactly alright, and felt himself being dragged away from the mess. Once they reached the entrance, the beeping stopped, and so did the water.

Pit tentatively opened his eyes, flushing as he found himself face to face with Rock, who was looking him up and down, checking for anything out of place.

“Oh, look at those fresh burn marks... and what is that thing?” He asked, his voice sounding a bit more high-pitched than usual, prodding at the blue sticky goo on Pit's wings and back, that was slowly spreading thanks to the added water. “You look like a gull caught up in an oil spill! What in the world happened to you?”

Pit didn't respond, feeling silly and dumb. He heard Rock scoff.

“Fine, if you don't want to tell me about that, then please, would you be so kind as to tell me why you up and stole three of my E-Tanks?!” He paused, and then hissed, a worried edge to his voice. “Please, please tell me you didn't take a sip-”

“I didn't!” Pit protested. “I just-I was... I used them. As ingredients. I was cooking up something...”

“Cooking? Cooking up what, a new chemical weapon?!” Pit winced at the tone and the volume of his clearly stressed out friend's voice, and at the way Rock's eyes closed in disgust. “Ugh! What is that smell?! Were you trying to replicate Wario's methods or something?!”

Pit turned to the side, looking at the ground in shame, idly playing with a bit of goo that had detached itself from him, the burns still stinging him.

He felt Rock's gaze on him, then a hand on his shoulder, squeezing him lightly. His voice sounded small and tired.

“I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have raised my voice I'm just.... you scared me, Pit.”

The angel looked up, and upon seeing Rock's stressed and almost crestfallen expression, he managed a shy smile, that was soon replicated by the robot. Once that happened, Pit's gaze focused back on the ground, as he started to curl up on himself while still staying on the floor.

“I wanted to make you something. Something you could eat, and enjoy. Something that would be different from your plain old E-Tanks for once. I just felt bad, that you had to be stuck with one option for all your life and...” He mumbled, and sighed. “... so I stole some of your cans of the stuff, and I tried to cook it into flans and jelly, just to try it out, but-”

“Wait. Wait wait wait.” The robot interrupted, a hand on his temple. Pit went quiet, ready to listen.

“Are you saying you broke into my room and stole some of my cans, put substances you had no knowledge about through various chemical reactions, actually harming yourself in the process, just because you wanted to do something nice for me and surprise me with it?”

Pit hesitated. There was no point in denying it, but Rock was already on edge with worry, and if the burning and stinging sensation Pit felt on his face, neck, chest, fingers, wings and back were any indication, he'd have a bit more to worry about later. “Uh... yes?”

Rock blinked, and Pit grew more worried the longer the robot stayed silent. Then, his eyes looked like they sparkled, and he giggled, even tearing up a little.

“O-only you!” He laughed. “Only you would go through so much trouble over such an idea!”

Pit was a bit taken aback by the reaction, but smiled all the same, as it seemed Rock was finally starting to relax. He even joined him, with a quiet, sheepish laugh of his own. That is, until Rock spoke again.

“Oh Pit, you beautiful idiot, I love you so much!” He exclaimed.

Then Rock's joyful expression turned into one of horror, hastily clamping his mouth shut with both his hands, as his eyes quickly shifted from Pit to anywhere else in the vast room.

Meanwhile, Pit's brain felt like it had permanently shut down. He kept repeating the words in his head, trying to see if there could be a way he had heard wrong, or misinterpreted. But from Rock's reaction, it seemed he had heard and understood right.

As the realization sank in that this was really happening, Pit felt more and more giddy, his mouth morphing into a dumb and happy smile, multitudes of warm and fuzzy feelings shooting up in his chest, and his wings started flapping about in excitement, though it ended up looking pretty weak and made for a pretty disgusting, wet sound, thanks to the goo.

Now, when Pit had imagined confessing to his former celebrity crush turned full-on, actual crush, he had pictured himself reigning victorious over some foes, preferably some who had tried to attack the robot, and proclaiming his undying love to a starstruck Mega Man as the wind made the leaves of nearby trees rustle and flower petals fly, with the sun setting on the horizon.

Instead he was laying down on the Mansion's wet kitchen floor, completely drenched, smelly, his wings and hair covered in sticky blue goo, suffering from stinging burns on his body and a bit teary-eyed from the pain and the laughing, looking up at a really embarassed, scared and blushing robot, who from his point of view looked like he was upside-down. All that after Pit had made a mess in the kitchen, starting a fire, over some dumb idea.

Not really what you would call a romantic setting.

But, the angel figured, it was less about the mood, and more about the actions.

“I love you too, Rock.” He smiled, hoping his voice had been loud enough.

Rock's expression didn't change and he immediately started sputtering, tearing up a little. “I know! I know! Of course you don't! I'm so sorry I don't know what came over me I-” Then he stopped, and looked shocked, his mouth hanging open as he took a good look at Pit.

“Excuse me, what?”

Pit grinned, happy to not be the one completely clueless about something for once. “I said I love you too, Rock. Why'd you think I did all of this?”

Rock was at a loss for words, his mouth opening and closing, much like a fish, yet no sounds ever came out of it.

Pit got up, sitting on his knees, and hugged his friend and crush.

Pormpted by the hug, Rock managed to croak out some words. “I love you... and you love me?”

Pit kept on smiling, feeling like he was dreaming, and he held onto the robot tighter, ignoring the burns. “Uh-uh.”

His smile got wider when he felt Rock hugging him back, being mindful of the wings. “Does this mean... I mean... could we?...”

Start dating? Call each other boyfriends? Soulmates? Get married? Buy a house and some farmlands? Create or adopt themselves some children? Live happily ever after? Pit's mind was sent into overdrive with the possibilities, but outside he tried his best to keep his cool. “Dunno. What'd'you want to do?”

He felt the robot shudder. “Just give me a moment. I never thought I'd ever get this far...”

“Alright.” He was about to let go completely, and give Rock some space to think, but he wasn't able to resist the temptation, and gave a quick peck on the robot's face, whose whirring and blushing increased.

“You look even cuter when you blush.” Pit said, happy he could finally express his inner thoughts without fearing being told off or rejected.

The robot's gaze followed him. He looked a bit dazed, and soon sported a big, dopey smile.

“Okay. Okay, I know what I want.” He took one of Pit's hand in his, and looked at him as fondly as one could get. “Pit, would you become my boyfriend?”

The angel gave him a playful grin, fluttering his eyelashes. “Only if you become mine.”

Rock tilted his head, a bit confused. “That's usually how it's supposed to work, silly.”

Pit tried and failed to repress a chuckle, and pouted. “I know, I was just trying to be romantic, party-pooper.”

The robot blushed a bit, embrassed at being called out. “Not so dumb, uh?” He said, looking up at Pit with a soft smile.

Then it happened. Their faces got close, and they booped their noses together, giggling as they did.

“Can I?” Pit asked.

Rock nodded, a bit too overwhelmed to talk.

And their mouths linked in a chaste kiss, the both of them pressing a bit more into it, trying to find how they could fit, and once they found the perfect way to kiss each other, they closed their eyes and renewed the contact, a bit more confident now, and definitely enjoying it. They parted moments later, feeling a bit dazed and warm, with big, happy smiles on their faces.

“Sooo...” Pit started, with a teasing smile. “... does that mean you'll eat my flan?”

“Haha...” Rock looked a bit put off, awkwardly getting up, dusting himself off and taking a few steps back, before he dropped the act and shook his head. “Absolutely not.”

“Pleaaaaaase...” Pit whined, taking Rock's arm in a vice grip and forcing him to follow him to the scene of the disaster. “At least try the jelly! It hasn't burned!”

“... Fine.” Rock agreed, albeit reluctantly. “But first we'll have to clean up the mess, and get you looked after.” When the robot went to inspect Pit's injuries again, he gasped. “Actually, scratch that, let's get you to Doctor Mario right away. Those acid burns are looking nastier by the minute.”

“Nuh-uh, eat first. Then we'll go.” Pit ordered, forcing himself to ignore the pain- he had gone through worse, really - pointing to the jelly-filled jar.

Rock tried to hold up Pit's stare, but then gave in.“You have strange priorities...”

* * *

In the end, they did go see Doctor Mario. Not only for Pit, but for Rock as well, as the robot had somehow gotten the equivalent of food poisoning from having eventually caved in and tried out the flan, leaving a very panicked and on-the-verge-of-tears angel to drag him to the infirmary.

Upon being treated himself, Pit had had the great gift of having most of his feathers plucked out and the back of his hair shaved. And, no, he didn't cry about it. And since he didn't cry, Rock certainly didn't have to try and console him, cuddling with him on the infirmary bed, Doctor Mario not even trying to stop them.

Thankfully, that dreadful state hadn't lasted long, as Zelda had taken pity on the angel, especially after she had learned why he had done what he had done, and had offered to heal him.

Pit had been over the moon. Not only had he gotten his dashing looks back, but he had had the attention and care of a beautiful girl all for himself, even if just for a moment. And, sure, he had a boyfriend now, but that didn't mean he had to stop appreciating the natural beauties of the world around him.

But, as it was, he still got made fun of by some of the kids and teens (and adults, in Wario's case), even though Rock did his best to keep them at bay. But he also had to sit through a stern scolding from most of the adults, except from Lady Palutena, who instead wholefully congratulated him on joining her and some other unfortunate smashers in the “Kitchen Disasters” club.

Once they had both recovered, and things had settled down, Pit had offered to make more jelly to apologize. The robot had been reticent at first, but upon his boyfriend's insistance he had tried it again, and gradually grew accustomed to this new way of consuming his E-Tanks.

Over time, and as their relationship progressed, the angel got a bit more creative with his recipes, trying out new flavors for Rock to taste test, to the point where some of their dates turned into cooking sessions.

And, much to Pit's joy, Rock had eventually joined him and his friends around their regular campfires, sharing his own stories while Pit made sure to hype them up, wanting everyone to see how great the super fighting robot was.

Although, Rock still refused to eat anything that wasn't E-Tank based.

But, in the instances when everyone was busy eating and the robot didn't need to, he used his E-Tanks for a purpose that had become very popular with the smashers old and young.

Mixing them up with gelatine, he usually dropped a few dropplets into the fire, and the participants watched in awe as the foam bubbled up and floated away, much to Pit's pride.

Eventually, Master Hand had to put a ban on the practice because of the foreseeable consequences.

But it wasn't like any of the fighters were known to follow his rules.

**Author's Note:**

> Whew! The end!  
> This was just a silly fic I wrote on a whim, didn't have much thought put into it, but it was fun.  
> Well, thanks for your time, and for reading it!  
> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
